If You Fail and Allow the Verbal Assault
Analyze what happened and try to describe what was said and how you responded. Some individuals will prefer to write it all down and destroy the notes later. Did you go emotional and loose your composure? From there you can craft a better response. Have you planned a BBR response and memorized it such that you can immediately go into your string of distraction? Did you accidentally or intentionally respond with a new attack?
If the attack occurred long ago, as in your childhood and you are now an adult, then one of the chief ways to help confront the re-occurring memories is to write a letter to that person, whether dead or alive, and outline harm or damage inflicted upon you and how it was inflicted. Like many ideas, once they are committed to paper, you can give yourself permission to move the memories into very deep storage and seek to forgive them for your benefit especially if the damage or injury caused is not punishable in a court of law. If you cannot internally forgive them, then you will remain a victim and the memories may return again victimizing you all over. Forgiving does not mean not stopping them from hurting others and does not mean not prosecuting them if punishable crimes are involved. Bad parenting is often not a crime but damage may be there. Last, the letter should be destroyed if you want it kept a secret.
Social Styles and Verbal Attacks
Analyticals will use the words and phrases found in this section but, in their manner of fact style, they often ask questions while not be stressing key words or associated phrases and an attack is not reason for the discussion. As individuals, because of their desire for facts, they may often miss word stresses being used to launch attacks against them by others. On the other hand, since they listen closely to the words, when they are paying attention, they are likely to spot partial or incomplete facts or invalid comparisons. After a verbal attack, they will often feel pain but not know why.
Amiables are acutely aware of the words and phrases, stressed and unstressed, discussed above but in their desire to be friends with everyone, they may choose the victim’s role rather then risking to offend their attacker. However, if the stress becomes to strong, they may explode in an attack of their own or become seriously ill. They are more likely to become skilled in attacking others using the hidden attack formulas if they are in the right power relationship.
Expressives are acutely aware of the words and phrases, stressed and unstressed, discussed above. In their desire to win contests which become important to them, they will use all verbal tactics available. Given time and education in verbal assault tactics and the right power structure, they can become experts in launching verbal attacks of all kinds against any who oppose them or their leadership.
Drivers are very likely to use the words and phrases found in this section but, in their manner of fact style, they often will not be stressing key words or associated phrases and an attack is not reason for the discussion though behavior modification or a particular behavioral response may be offered. If the conversation continues and a Driver does initiate an attack about the same subject, then the earlier unstressed words may turn the original conversation into a delayed attack. As individuals, because of their desire for facts needed to solve problems, they may often miss word stresses being used to launch attacks against them by others. On the other hand, since they listen closely, when they are paying attention, they are likely to spot partial or incomplete facts or invalid comparisons. After a verbal attack, they will often feel pain but not know why.
What is My Psychological Type 